Underpants Brief
If content is king, let's kill the king. We can do better.
People of the interwebs, creators especially, we have reached maximum content and my panties are in a bunch about it.
Much of this content is useless and boring. It highlights problems that aren't real for audiences that don't exist.
As evidence, I submit this brief and incomplete summary of a new form of digital journalism I call ‘Undie Content.’
I first stumbled upon the genre in 2016. After buying a three-pack of sensible, seamless panties I was doing what looked like work, when BAM! there it was, well below the fold. 17 Signs You’re Keeping Your Underwear Too Long
Ladies, do you put on underwear every morning and not think twice about it? How sway. Ms. Erdogan outlines 17 signs, from smells to holes to stretched-out and ill-fitting, to help you wake up and notice that dear lord! woman, your underwear is old.
A year passes. The world, and all the booty in it, gets dressed for many mornings without the help of Undie Content. But we were asleep! Ms. Daniel Jones of the great Down Under, pens this pointed and riveting piece, How Often Do You Need New Undies? to wake us from our reverie.
According to Ms. Jones, “Turns out there are hard and fast rules for when you should bin your underwear. Yep, washing them regularly isn’t enough.”
Titillating title aside, the content was clickbait for the Good Housekeeping Institute, as the article wasn't about underpants at all but bacteria in your washing machine. You don't have to squint to see right through the brands and PR agencies behind Undie Content wriggling their way into the so-called conversation.
Six months later, in May 2018, I still hadn't thrown out all my underpants or sterilized my washing machine when HuffPo dropped this piece of panty scoop, How Often You Should Buy New Underwear Depends On 2 Key Factors. In this article, I discovered, “You do need to wash your underwear regularly...and after every wear.”
Thank you.
People, advertisers, marketers, millennials doing the writing digital content side hustle thang—content isn’t king. This sort of useless and vapid digital content is more like the king’s seed and he’s been jizzing it everywhere. The king should stop already. The online coffee table is covered.
What we need, what we really, really need, is better journalism and better curation of that journalism.
Last week, after changing my closets over for the season, doing loads and loads of laundry and throwing out a few pairs that looked less than top-drawer, I subscribed to the New York Times digital edition where I can see London and I can see France. I also see underpants.
Since 2016 that fine rag printed ten underpants articles across a variety of sections, from theater to U.S. to style.
Paywall be damned, I read every single one.
